relationship help

Couples Counselling

what we can help with

Relationship Help

Sex & Intimacy in Your Relationship
Your Love
Languages
Individual and Couple Boundaries
Pre-marriage Counselling
Sex and Intimacy
for couples
Communication Conflict Difficulties
Your Love
Languages

Individual and Couple Boundaries
Pre-marriage Counselling for Couples

Got a question?

Sex and Intimacy

Sex and intimacy are essential aspects of partner relationships. The quality of which can be impacted by a variety of factors. Many individuals may struggle with issues related to sex and intimacy. Low libido, past sexual trauma, communication breakdowns can all contribute to difficulties with intimacy.

Low libido
A decreased interest in sex, is a common challenge that can affect both men and women. Many factors can contribute to low libido, including hormonal imbalances, sexual performance issues, medication side effects, and chronic health conditions. Psychological factors, such as stress, anxiety, and depression, can also play a role in low libido. In addition fears related to vulnerability, rejection, being judged or abandonment can amplify intimacy issues.

Lifestyle changes, such as getting enough sleep, reducing stress, and increasing physical activity, can help improve libido. 

Sexual Trauma and Fear
Past sexual trauma and fear can impact an individual’s ability to engage in healthy sexual relationships. Traumatic experiences and can lead to feelings of shame, guilt, and fear. Therapy and counselling can be helpful in addressing past trauma and developing healthy coping strategies.

Communication
Effective communication with a partner is crucial to developing healthy and fulfilling sexual relationships. Open and honest communication can help build trust and intimacy, which can improve sexual experiences.

Challenges related to sex and intimacy are common, but they can be addressed with the help of a couples therapist. It’s essential to identify any underlying medical or psychological issues that may be contributing to the problem and to work on developing healthy coping strategies.

Love Languages and Relational Nourishment

The five love languages framework aims to assist couples in expressing their affection and hearing “I love you” by acknowledging the ways in which their partner demonstrates love and showing love in ways that resonate with their partner’s primary love language.

Gifts
For those who appreciate the love language of gifts, the act of giving and receiving presents is an expression of love.

Acts of Service
If your love language is acts of service, you show your love by doing thoughtful things such as cooking a meal, cleaning the house, washing your partner’s car or painting their office.

Words of Affirmation
If words of affirmation are your primary love language, you appreciate giving and receiving love through verbal expressions of support, admiration, and praise. Words speak louder than actions for you.

Quality Time
For those whose love language is quality time, spending meaningful, uninterrupted time with their partner is the most effective way to feel loved. Look to include gadget-free meals…enabling both to be fully present with each other.

Physical Touch
If physical touch is your primary love language, you express and receive love through physical contact and intimacy, such as hugging, kissing, holding hands, cuddling, and sexual activity.

In conclusion, understanding your and your partner’s primary love language can greatly enhance your relationship and improve your ability to communicate your affection effectively. By identifying and meeting each other’s relational needs, you can build a more fulfilling and nourishing partnership.

Got a question?

Individual and Couple Boundaries

Creating and maintaining healthy boundaries in our relationships is essential for both our well-being and the success of the relationship.

What are Boundaries?
Boundaries refer to the guidelines, rules, or limits that define your personal space in your life and relationships. They can be mental, physical, or sexual, and are necessary to establish reasonable, safe, and permissible ways for others to behave towards you.

Why are Boundaries Important?
Establishing healthy boundaries is vital for both a strong relationship and improved self-esteem. Boundaries provide guidance on how to behave in a relationship and help you identify reasonable limits for others to respect. Boundaries are important in all aspects of life, including personal, professional, social and legal.

How are Healthy Boundaries Created?
Establishing healthy boundaries can be challenging, but it’s crucial to take the time to identify and implement them. Here are five simple steps to help you create healthy boundaries:

  1. Know Your Boundaries

Reflect on the influential relationships in your life and decide what behaviours you will and will not tolerate in relationships with others. Writing down your boundaries can help solidify them in your mind.

  1. Listen to Your Gut

Your internal warning light signals when someone has crossed the line or acted inappropriately towards you. Acknowledging and trusting your gut feelings can help you identify when someone is testing your boundaries.

  1. Say Your Boundaries Out Loud

Saying “no” or letting someone know they’re crossing your boundaries can be challenging. However, with practice, you’ll be able to communicate your boundaries assertively and with kindness.

  1. Know That You Have a Right to Set Personal Boundaries

Your feelings and needs are just as important as those of others. By finding a balance between your needs and the needs of others, you can maintain your physical and mental health and create a healthy and happy relationship.

  1. Ask for Help

It’s okay to ask for help in determining what is healthy versus unhealthy for you. At Sydney City Couples Counselling we can assist in establishing your boundaries and understand the importance of maintaining them.

In conclusion, establishing healthy boundaries is essential for maintaining a healthy and successful relationship. Remember that boundaries are not about controlling others; they are about respecting your own limits and helping others understand how to behave towards you. More or less, we teach people how to engage with us. By taking the time to reflect on your personal boundaries, trusting your gut feelings, and communicating assertively, you can create a relationship that is fulfilling and nourishing.

Pre-marriage Counselling

Getting engaged and planning to marry is an exciting time in your life. As you envision the life you will share with your partner, it’s important to consider pre-marriage counselling.

Sydney City Couples Counselling provides couples with the opportunity to develop conflict resolution skills, identify and address issues, and have difficult conversations in a supportive environment. Many people assume that counselling is only for couples who are experiencing challenges, but pre-marriage counselling is a proactive step that can prevent negative behaviours and habits from forming and potentially harming the relationship in the future.

When it comes to pre-marriage counselling, there are many topics and issues that can be discussed to ensure that both partners have a strong foundation with tools and strategies to navigate difficult times.

Here are some examples of these topics:

  1. Finances: Couples can discuss their individual financial situation, including income, savings, and debt, and establish a plan for managing finances together.
  2. Intimacy: Couples can discuss their expectations and desires regarding physical intimacy, sexual boundaries, and sexual health.
  3. Do we want children: Couples can discuss whether they want children, and if so, how many, and what their expectations are regarding parenting roles.
  4. Children and parenting styles: Couples can discuss their parenting styles and beliefs and how they plan to raise their children together.
  5. Values: Couples can discuss their individual values and beliefs and find common ground to establish shared values as a couple.
  6. Love Languages: Couples can discuss their love languages and learn how to express love in ways that their partner can appreciate.
  7. Boundaries: Couples can discuss boundaries in their relationship, including mental, physical, and emotional boundaries.
  8. Communication styles: Couples can learn effective communication strategies to improve their ability to communicate their feelings and needs to each other.
  9. Conflict resolution strategies: Couples can learn how to handle conflicts effectively and productively, including negotiation and compromise.
  10. Family of origin: Couples can discuss their family dynamics and how their family of origin may impact their relationship.
  11. Cultural backgrounds: Couples can discuss cultural differences and how they may impact their relationship.
  12. Friends and family: Couples can discuss boundaries with friends and family and establish expectations for their involvement in the relationship.
  13. Anger management: Couples can learn strategies for managing anger and resolving conflicts in a healthy way.
  14. Life-style expectations: Couples can discuss their expectations regarding their lifestyle, including work-life balance, leisure activities, and personal interests.
  15. Logistics: Couples can discuss practical aspects of their relationship, such as living arrangements, chores, and responsibilities.
  16. Home life: Couples can discuss their expectations for their home life, including household routines, cleanliness, and organization.
  17. Entertainment: Couples can discuss their leisure activities and how they plan to spend their free time together.
  18. Alcohol and drugs: Couples can discuss their attitudes towards substance use and establish boundaries regarding alcohol and drug use.

By addressing potential challenges before they arise, couples can develop effective strategies for managing conflicts, setting boundaries, and maintaining a strong and loving relationship. It’s important to consider pre-marriage counselling as an investment in your future as a couple.